Mental health issues, eroding trust in our institutions… We’re well aware of the downsides of social media. But I want to share two ways I’ve managed to use social media as a portal to self-actualization. Yes, I’m talking about manifesting, here. Nietzsche’s “will to power.” The first is something you’re likely already doing…

The digital world offers us endless inspiration for who we want to become. If you’re selective about the content you consume, your favorite newsletter, podcast, author, or app might give you ideas as to the life you want to build for yourself. If you’re lucky, you might even meet the person you want to build it with (though I’d still advocate finding your soulmate in the real world, the old-fashioned way—but that’s another story). Curating your social media diet is not as intuitive as it sounds, but let’s move on to number 2, which for many is even harder to do.

So you’ve sorted your inspiration/goals, but what about finding your tribe? When you envision your ideal future, you probably belong to a community or at least have some friends to enjoy your perfect life with. This is a missing piece that many of us struggle with more than anything.

In truth, outside of a precious few friendships, I’ve struggled to fit in with social groups my whole life. I tend to pour most of myself into work, creative projects like music, and romantic relationships instead. That changed when I discovered Friends With Benefits (FWB) from a podcast.

FWB is a decentralized autonomous organization (DAO)—a membership-based community that uses blockchain tokens to identify its members. Sounds techy, but as we like to say, “crypto is the least interesting thing we all have in common.” Essentially, we’re a group of creative technologists, artists, and builders exploring the intersection of culture and tech. Perfect for a modern Renaissance man who can’t bear to stay in one lane.

The best part about FWB is that we’re all about facilitating meaningful connections through IRL experiences. I’ve met amazing people, DJed their events, received a grant to organize an event of my own, and even performed/attended FWB FEST—our emerging tech + music festival in Idyllwild, California. There I got to hear from the brightest minds in their fields and befriend artists I truly admire. Watching the sun set from a mountaintop with friends and even family, I realized that manifesting moments and connections like this was the true potential of exploring the internet and digital communities. 

Nomads.com (fka nomad list) is another digital community I joined more recently to help manifest my move from NYC to Portugal- a platform for digital nomads with everything from Telegram chats to IRL meetups and even a dating app-style matchmaking tool to find friendships or romance.

Picture this: instead of doomscrolling, you get inspired by another member’s review of Bali and decide to spend a few months there. You quickly sign up for travel insurance, schedule a meeting with an immigration lawyer, and reach out to some other members currently living there, all through the platform and its recommended partners. Next thing you know, you’re working remotely by the beach, frozen drink in hand, sharing stories with an expat you connected with online. Not too shabby.

I know these examples won't apply to everyone, but I promise there are digital communities out there for any interest, no matter how niche or normie. I guarantee you can find your people, but not all digital communities are created equal– try to find ones that support your goals and facilitate IRL experiences. This is key; digital connections that become real-world friendships or collaborations open the portal to self-actualization and make the journey all the more satisfying.

So, what’s stopping you? Sign up for the course, DM that inspiring person, or join that forum or discord. Social media might not fix the world, but it just might help you find your place in it.

Onward,

Brendan Donovan